your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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