Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
