I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
