Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
