Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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