Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
