real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
