I'm lost and stupid without you.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
