So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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