You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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