so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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