So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
