3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
