At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
