She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
