Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
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I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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