I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
