Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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