He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
