if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's blow job season.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
