you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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