if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
