Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize