just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
