dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
