First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
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cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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