Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
