And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
