I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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