oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
