I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
