Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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