have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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