he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Idk if I want to put a bra on
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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