I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
