And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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