i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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