What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
