I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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