I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
