Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap. http://tfl.nu/sbkp
  Replies (16) Good night (2811) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again. http://tfl.nu/eq2e
  Replies (26) Good night (7942) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change. http://tfl.nu/eo5m
  Replies (67) Good night (706) Bad night (5889)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. http://tfl.nu/az3h
  Replies (31) Good night (826) Bad night (8691)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one http://tfl.nu/66eb
  Replies (29) Good night (1064) Bad night (6590)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender? http://tfl.nu/l1y7
  Replies (12) Good night (4295) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder. http://tfl.nu/vt5f
  Replies (11) Good night (3814) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/5p64
  Replies (9) Good night (4485) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night. http://tfl.nu/m7fi
  Replies (5) Good night (2561) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened. http://tfl.nu/z3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (3103) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go. http://tfl.nu/523r
  Replies (12) Good night (4237) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v
  Replies (14) Good night (826) Bad night (1739)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (2116) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off... http://tfl.nu/wbci
  Replies (11) Good night (2229) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month http://tfl.nu/88hb
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (226)

Randomize