I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace