I cannot find my penis.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
about cumming, not toast
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.