they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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