dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just threw up on my dentist
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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