I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
