When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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