you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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