What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
