He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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