i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
