so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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