Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
