awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
