Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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