Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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