Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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