you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
