Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
