You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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