Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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