Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
