Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I supernannyed him into submission
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
