I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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