That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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