vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
