Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize