Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
