were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
